a birth story

It was my 16th birthday. I was so excited to go and get my license, finally I was old enough to drive. You are required to bring you're Birth Certificate with you to the DMV so I sat on my parents floor going through all of the important documents trying to find my own. And that's where it happened. That spot on the floor next to my mom's side of the bed is where my whole world would change.

You see, my birthday is on the nineteenth of may. For my whole life it always had been. I think it gives kids a sense of stability in their lives having one birthday on the same day, once every year.

Boom. Kaput. There it all went out the window staring at that piece of paper.

Name: Madison Paige Waters
Mother: Kathryn Jill Waters

Born at the Orem Community Hospital 


MAY 18th 1991

This just turned my hypothesis of me being adopted into an actual theory. I had my suspicions being ten times taller than anyone in my family but it's now a proven fact. My parents "whaaa you're not adopted" answers and awkward glances after being questioned don't fool me anymore!

So really what I am trying to say is thanks mom and dad. Thanks for at least waiting until I was the mature age of 16 to drop that bomb on me. Therapy hasn't been too bad and my insurance covers most of it. And besides having to remember to write the 18th as my birthday on every legal document in fear of the government thinking I stole some dead woman's identity, its turned out to be a really great thing. I get to party non stop for two days instead of just one like all you sad suckas and i get to use the "its my birthday i do and buy what i want" for a whole 24 more hours.

And I would have to say that based on what i ate tonight, it has been a very very happy legal birthday.


  1. wait madi your really are adopted?? HAPPY BIRTHDAY yesterday!

  2. so basically your happy birthday hangover is on what you grew up thinking was your actual birthday? that's genius. this means you get TWO hangover days!