nephew carsen

You couldn't make up your mind.
Even after 30 hours and a trip to the hospital you still hadn't decided. But I don't blame you. You saw what was going on down here. Getting here is difficult. Being here is difficult. 

I want you to know that we are overcome you chose this. That you chose this family. And that you chose life. And there's nothing better than that. I know it looks hard. And I won't even lie to you for one second, it freakin is. But I think more for myself right now than for anyone, I want to say that I have no doubt it will be worth it. Repeat that at minimum to yourself 6 times on the hard days. On a good day, only once or twice.

I think you knew that in the end it would be worth it. Or else you wouldn't have agreed to this.
But we are overwhelmingly glad you did and that you are finally here with us little one.

(you can find his birth story over here on my sisters blog)

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take your gloves off.

But dear daughter before you do, I want you to believe something before the world tells you otherwise. 

Those tiny but strong, beautiful & powerful hands of yours can & I know with all the certainty in my being, will do so much. When you hold my hand I feel the goodness that will come from them. I need you to remember this. Because believe me little one, I know what it feels like to be swallowed up in this world. To forget what these hands were designed for. 

Now these words may not even need to be written. I have full confidence in you & I wouldn't be a bit surprised if they turn out to be the hands of one of the greats. But I write more for myself than anything, to remind the hands that are helping me write to you, of their real purpose here. 

Your little hands have changed me. 
They taught me that compassion is always the answer. & that being gentle is more powerful than force. That without any questions asked, I can be loved so deeply. That I am worthy of love and belonging.

So here is the promise to you my daughter. That I will try with every second I have left here on this earth, to give back to others the goodness you have shown me. 

My dear. Love this world with those little hands. Love the world that has that has forgotten what love means.
Show them through your hands that we were divinely designed, even before there ever was a before. 

"Take your gloves off."

A phrase that behind it drives unfairness, blame, anger, hurt, & defensiveness. And yet when your gloves come off, all I see is compassion and love. Empathy and kindness. 

Everything you touch will know of the divine within themselves. By the time you are old enough to fully understand what all this means, you're goodness will have already blessed the lives of hundreds. I have no doubt.  All because of the magnificence that comes flowing forth from you my dear.

I don't think I could ever love a pair extremities more. 

(not quite sure why I wrote this. I don't even have a daughter... sooo..)
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