I wake up with your name in my mouth. In those first few moments of being half aware I enjoy the familiarity by swishing it around a few times, fully experiencing you again. In those few minutes I have no thoughts of how regressing it is to even think about you. In that moment I am not sad. In that moment you and I are one again.
The grogginess wears off and I snap back to the full reality of the present- I spit your name out with all the force I can muster.
Keeping the memory of you so close is too much to carry. So I keep you safely at a distance. Close enough to look over and still see you when my heart needs a few moments to reflect, but far enough out of reach that it would be too painful for my sore muscles to attempt pulling you back in.

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