7 years

Whether it's because she suddenly remembered the warnings so many had given her lately or 
because the "i'ts 430 am why the hell are you awake" stomach ache had kicked in. She rolled down her window, the negative two degree air spilling frantically into her car, and spit out her gum.

7 years? Really? I highly doubt that.
But if it ends up being true, my stomach is literally half full of swallowed gum. Not only mine, but others who couldn't find a place to throw the gum away so I kindly took it and swallowed it for them. A service really. Maybe that's why I cant eat a lot of food all at once? The capacity of food holding room has been decreased greatly by the gum.

What is this "scold madi for swallowing gum" month? At least 4 different people have given me their warnings and looks of disgust as I swallow the gum that's flavor has long since left. 

I find nothing wrong.
And on the rare occasion you see me spitting out my gum, know that its the result of peer pressure.
So much friggin pressure.  

It has come to my attention that people thought this post was some sort of metaphor & were thrown off when they found out the truth. I want to be very clear when I say this is a literal post. I really swallow my gum, sometimes others as well. Although if you take this post as a metaphor, it makes me seem really deep. So go right ahead and take it how you will. In the mean time, I will keep on swallowing all of the gum.


  1. is this picture you?? if so, you look exactly like a girl i know. exactly.

  2. @Jane Harman

    that's me! to clarify i am the tall one on the left, not the 3 year old on the right. I wanna see a picture of this doppelganger of mine!

  3. hahahahaha. you're so deep when you talk in code.