"Let’s do some blood work just to rule it out okay?"
You would leave, taking me with you. Like in Grey’s Anatomy when Derek Shepard took out that chicks prefrontal cortex. Remember how screwed up she was after that? Essentially you leaving would mean taking with you my cognitive behavior, my personality expression, even my decision making. All of me gone the moment your end begins. Hell, there wouldn't be enough sertraline in the world to make that okay. Screw sertraline.
I know I said before that I don’t believe in a God per say. But something happened in the last hour and a half while watching that needle go into your arm and listening to the nurse ask you questions to keep your mind off the pain. I saw something higher. Something holy. I know I saw divine in that moment.
So I’m asking. Maybe for more time or guidance. Maybe just for some comfort? But I’m here. For the first time in my life I’m here. I always thought it was played up for the movies but viewing that today physically brought me to my knees. How is that my body’s natural reaction to something traumatic when I've never prayed, let alone prayed on my knees before? I’m asking for something, pleading even. I’m sure you know what it is.
"The test came back negative. He is going to be fine. Sorry for the scare"