Remembrance // Gratitude

There is something holy that comes with the slow work of God. The difficult, and at times, traumatic parts of it all. The parts that in the moment, feel like you will never recover, or never understand the reason of why it came to be. Dark and and at a standstill. Holy.

Then you look around and see what you are compared to what you were. And when what you were - shown against what you currently are -is like looking at the colors black and white, a clear stark difference,
gratitude swells. 

My 17 year old of a sister gave a talk in church yesterday. Quoting President Eyring she said that 
“Remembrance is the seed of Gratitude”

So I want to remember it all. Agonizing or complete joy- I want it all.

I want to remember slow dancing to etta james with my dad.

That feeling of love that surrounds a new born baby.
That shame does not need to drive you.

That silence & holding still often tells me all I need to know.
That you can always feel Gods presence - even in the darkest hour.

That returning home early from a mission doesn't define who I am.

I want to remember that we were divinely designed.

That the God I believe is not a "one false move" but a "no matter what" God.
That compassion is the answer to every question.

& in the end, I want to be able to say that "I loved it all"
and truly mean it.